Friday, April 29, 2011

Weekly Update: For all the weeks I missed

Its been weeks.

Everytime I manage to pull up Blogger or Tumblr in order to write, it seems like I have nothing to say- and moreso I have so little time to sit around thinking what to say that days go by before I even realize what I could have done. Its a tossup, as I had a job where flexibility gave me the daytime to access projects, writings, reading, and a sense of ongoing freedom- but I had to give up virtually every evening and every weekend to a job that led me nowhere. I now work full time, days now instead of nights, and although I have my weekends free, I find that I can never find time to catch myself up on all the things that I feel will prepare me for the things I actually want to be doing. It really does feel like I work just to pay the bills, and my mind feels like mud nearly everyday. Its like the stimulation that I was once riding high upon melted away to make way for a weekly check and a free saturday. I don't really know if the substitution actually helps me or hinders me from where I want to be. Perhaps if I was doing something more... let's say 'meaningful', then maybe I would feel like the sacrifices were benefiting. But as of right now I can't really figure out where to go from here.

I don't even have time to reread this...