Monday, June 27, 2011

Weekly Update: Monday June 27th: Scattering Thoughts about Opportunities and Being Poor

I haven't written on this blog for awhile, and though I think I have valid reasons for being absent, I don't think it is an excuse not to try. Lately I have been going through a challenging "determination" period, in which I needed (and still do need at some points) to decide where to take the next step. I just got a full time job doing e-commerce type work and was finally able to give my frustrating and simplistic temp position a two-weeks notice. I know what some people will say to my giving this to them, "did you really need to give them two weeks, it was only temporary?", and while I understand the logic behind this kind of attitude, I have trouble just leaving people hanging even if I really don't really see how the job will fit into what I actually want to be doing. I am excited for this new opportunity, as one of many arising these days,  as it not only relieve a sense of job security but also seems to be a new healthy work environment hopefully absent from lots of stress. Win!

Even though the work isn't exactly what i had hoped to be doing, I have a wedding I am planning right now and both Maggie and I need a sense of new directions for at least the upcoming year. Weddings are ridiculously expensive and full of options to decipher. I think someone told me this once and I think I laughed... I am not laughing now. I just need to keep being positive about it, and keep thinking about the possibility of going to the Dominican Republic for the honeymoon (yes).

Some more exciting news comes in the form of possible freelance opportunities that both of us are considering. It would call for an investment in the new Final Cut program and purchasing a camera (Canon T2i) to shoot video/pictures on; but if we can figure out a way to pull this off we are going to! We are thinking about doing some freelance for our portfolios, short films for festivals, and a way to earn some extra money for the future. Win, again!

I hate being poor. I feel like I better understand what George Orwell was writing about in "Down and Out in Paris"... "For, when you are approaching poverty, you make one discovery which outweighs some of the others. You discover boredom and mean complications and the beginnings of hunger, but you also discover the great redeeming feature of poverty: the fact that it annihilates the future." It just eats your sense of empowerment and sometimes you just feel helpless. I definitely haven't forgone a sense of hope in the situation, as I daily am coming to the conclusion that I am not that worse off compared to so many suffering in the world today, and it actually helps me to better understand the world as it is for so many that I will never see. Its damn hard though sometimes... that I will not deny, especially feeling like going to college only made things worse rather than better at times.

I have started to write down all of the ideas I have throughout the day. It really helps me focus on something besides data entry... and it gives me something to look forward to. I have made it a personal goal to try and finish more of these than I can come up with, but I know that won't be the case for some time. I am thinking about starting a website to organize some of these things... perhaps a personal blog that I can keep things up on but no one can see.... not that I don't want to share!

Well I would like to update with more but my lunch hour is up...

Till next...

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