Friday, February 20, 2009

Febblog #16- I, Eric

I feel like I am in a funk as of late. Like I am trying to enjoy life, and be optimistic, but I get caught up in thinking about stuff, and ultimately lose out on things. It has been centering on me, and I feel that as I have been doing this, it has made me feel like I am an "outsider". It really sucks when I am trying to move away from that kind of thing. Hopefully this weekend will be a good time to get myself back on track with things, and hopefully I will not feel like I have been the last couple of days.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Febblog#15- Hear

Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.

Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.
Man versus the world.
Mankind versus me.

The struggles go on,
The wisdom I lack,
The burdens keep pilling
Up on my back.
So hard to breathe,
To take the next step.
The mountain is high,
I wait in the depths.
Yearning for grace,
And hoping for peace.
Dear God...
Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Your's,
Only You can make every new day seem so new- Reese Roper

Febblog#14- Hearing that still small voice in the crash of chaos....

Facing the tidal waves approach us...

We reach out our hands in consolation...

We will be hit... we will be bombarded... torn apart... splintered... tossed... battered.... broken...

But for others... to protect them... to see them safe... to see the joy... it is all worth it....

We want to stop it... but most times we cannot... and it breaks us... but there is hope... life... love...sometimes though, it is impossible to see.... it is impossible to comprehend... and we feel so battered... so beaten... so betrayed... so abandoned....

To feel all alone... To feel the weight of it all, dumped upon us.
I have felt this. Others have felt this. Jesus felt this.

God... why.... why must we see our brothers/sisters destitute? why is humanity so unkind? why is it so uncaring? what must we see, what must we be exposed to before we realize the frailty? how much before we truly see the ultimate sacrifice of Christ? how much more.... how much more....

When can love truly be seen? What must be said? What must be done?
Oh Lord. take us to the water.
swim to the bottom
release our transgressions
free us our burdens
release us of our insecurities...
help us.
uplift us.
we have the way. we have started the path. yet why are we not encouraging one another? why, even in true faith is there still the same issue? why is it that there is still the same issue?
when will we see? we have the perfect example... we have seen perfect love, yet why do so many turn a blind eye? why do so many walk in shame? why do so many feel they have no worth?
My heart bleeds. My eyes cannot look. My face is downcast... because I want to help... I want to stop these tidal waves... but lord... I am just as broken... I am angered... I am saddened... and I want to see community rise up in the way that it is intended... not in the way that it has occurred... so much hurt...

yet. to all reading. their is hope.
there is life. there is love....
we know where.
perfect sacrifice.
humbly we approach it.
humble we should be.
yet we haven't....
when will women feel their worth? when will men feel their worth? when will we stop killing one another in our own names? when we will look inside ourselves and see who we are? when will we look upon others and empathize with their needs, with their lives, with their emotions? when will we stop killing each other?
when will we no longer hold onto our past mistakes, our past failures, and then live... free?

Lord. to thee. we pray.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Febblog#13- Name

(from Wikipedia)

The given name Eric is derived from the name Ei(r)ríkr, meaning "eternal ruler of Pie Town," compounded from the words ei(r) "eternal" (cognate to English aye meaning always and Latin aevum, among others) and ríkr,"ruler" in Old Norse (cognate to -rix in Celtic names and the Latin noun rex, among others). It's most common description is simply: one who is ever powerful.

The most common spelling in Scandinavia is Erik. In Norway, an older form of the name is Eirik is also commonly used. In Finland, the form Erkki is also used. The modern Icelandic version is Eiríkr. A notable bearer was Eiríkr inn Rauda (Eric the Red in English), a 10th-century navigator and explorer who discovered Greenland. This was also the name of several early kings of Sweden, Denmark and Norway.

Although the name was in use in Anglo-Saxon Britain, its use was reinforced by Scandinavian settlers arriving before the Norman Invasion. It was an uncommon name in England until the Middle Ages, when it gained popularity, and finally became a common name in the 19th century. This was partly because of the publishing of the novel Eric, or, Little by Little by Frederick William Farrer in 1858. The Erik spelling is traditional in Scandinavia. Eric is used in French, and in Germany Erich and Erik are both used.

The official name day for Erik and Eirik is May 18 in Sweden and Norway.

Interesting Note: Usually the name of a great lover. One who can be an epic love.


I was named "after" Erik the Red, but my parent's decided on a more english sounding version and used the 'c' instead of the 'k', which leaves me thankful, because I wouldn't want to spell it with a 'k'.

I love names, and I have compiled a list of names that I would love to name my kids... weird I guess.. but its fun knowing what names actually represent.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Feblog #12- Punch Your Face

After virtually 3 conversations on the subject, it comes to my attention that the issue of relationships need to be brought forward. Why is it that so many guys feel like they can just "play around with girls" and "get what they want", and then leave? Like, I can't even concieve of that! It makes me so frustrated to see such amazing women hurting from the way that guys act towards them, treat them, talk to them!

I realize that as a single guy, I have a responsibility to make sure that I do not overstep my bounds, because for something to be authentic/legitimate... it needs time, and I understand that. Two people should not simply 'jump into a relationship, because they need to feel that it is occuring on its own. And getting to know someone should be the priority, not just getting to know them to date. We should be uplifting one another, praying for one another, and allowing ourselves to be transperant in the proper contexts. I should say that I am just as at fault as any other guy/girl out there... sometimes things come off in ways which we didn't expect/mean... and even in those times it can be very difficult.

What needs to occur?

I always hear girls use the phrase "guys need to step up", and maybe that is what really needs to occur. I don't know, I don't have the answers. I wish I could figure things out and solve it, but maybe that's not my place to do so....

Truthfully, I just see so much pain out there, I see how much people hurt each other, and yet even though I see all that... I am optimistic that there is truth in love, there is truth in sincerity, that God does provide/work in our lives, and that relationships can work, if guys and girls truly do find connection, and are willing to sacrifice for one another. I know, this is all coming from a guy's perspective, so I may be way off.

All I know is that the girls that I have met need to know how amazing they really are, and they need to know that they are worthy...and they need to know that they are beautiful, and that they can/will be loved, and that true sincerity is hard to find,but so worth it, and that God is their comfort in times of need.

We as guys need to stand instead of sit, we need to reach out our hands not in misguided attempts, but in loving empathy.... and I empathize with this struggle, because I think it can go both ways... It hurts to hear girls talk about how they feel that they are unworthy... it hurts for me to feel like I can't be good enough.... it hurts God (I believe) to see his children so tangled up in so much manipulation...

I don't know.... I offer all that I can, I offer a listening ear, I offer my friendship.... and I hope that I am not tossed aside. For in this blog entry, I hope that God is ultimately the focus, and that my musings (which I have given to him), would help to start discussions for his glory, and a new outlook on what has occurred.

Guys, stop. stop what you've been doing, you know what you've been doing, and open your eyes, and then act. Act in the right ways... pursue in the right motives... ask what you can do...
but guys are not completely at fault; girls know the things that they can do, and they know the ways that they've done it, but this entry's attempt is to bring the issue "to the table", and not to call out the blame.
A friend of mine wrote a much better blog about all this.... her transparency inspired me to write this one, so that it can be said, that we are all looking for something in this world, we all would love to be with someone who truly cares about us, will truly love us (countering in both the faults and the strengths)... and its time to stop manipulating. Even in a state of unsurety...we still feel something.... we are not made to be unemotional robots, we were not made to never feel anything... what truly inspires me is when someone goes through pain, and yet walks away from it with a new outlook... a new inspiration...
I guess this all sounds so jumbled... but they are the thoughts which I have been muddling over for the last 3 months or so....

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Feblog #11- Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts:

Why is it so easy for people to tear someone apart, yet so difficult to love someone?

Why are grudges so easily forgotten when things go our way, but when they go the other person's way, it is no longer easy to deal with?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how much is a thousand words worth?

Why is it that money is seen by society as the pinnacle of one's success (the ends), but friendship is deemed as the proverbial means at which to "step up to said ends"?

At the end of the movie "Castaway", when he goes to the fork in the road, with endless roads on all sides, where could he reasonably go? Thinking about what I would do... I could not really come up with a real answer. What if you had been through a terrible experience, and lost everyone/everything... but you had a chance to choose a direction and then go... where would you go? what would you do? how could you be?

Has anyone ever thought about what God thinks about? Like, he knows everything, he can see everything, he's constantly moving, and interacting with us... yet how could he think? I realize that he is God and I am not, and so obviously my thoughts would never compare... but I think that if I knew everything... I would explode... it just shows me the grand, amazing, yet mysterious nature of God...

In the song "Karma Police", what is it that you get when you mess with us?

Who came up with "Singles Awareness Day", as an alternative to Valentine's Day? Like, you obviously know that you're single, why a specific title to recognize that? haha... like it seems to label it negatively....

I want to let people in, I really want people to get to know me, I really want to know others... and I just wish I didn't always feel like I come off in a negative way...

"Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul."- Thomas Merton

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."- Dali Lama