Thursday, January 15, 2009

Upcoming....

I feel that February will be an interesting month as I am toying with the idea of writing a "blog a day" for 28 days... I think I might... Everyday will have a different theme/subject which may end up changing according to the daily events that superseded the actual writing!

My proposal is set. Now I will enjoy January's occasional blogging...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Changes... Reflections XI

So many things have taken place over the last week, that I cannot simply divulge all of the details here; but know that many things have taken place. The events that I dealt with in Reflections X have been resolved, although it is still something that I have thought of often, and I am now back on track with things. Being "back on track" seems to be difficult, because it seems to say "now what?". I don't really understand the answer to that question, or in what form it will be answered, but I suppose that I will find out soon enough. I am truly happy to have helped mend something that became broken last week, and I look forward to that connection to continue on another path (one that started a few years ago, but has been ultimately expanded and blessed by previous events). My heart has shifted gears on that area of my life, but I think it is for the best, as do others. I think that as this semester continues, I will be looking for elements of what God is trying to tell me. I don't really think that God has one specific "calling" for everyone, but rather we move only paths leading towards him (with his prescience within and beside us), and sometimes we get sidetracked (or exit the path), but with his prescience he guides us back to him.
Sometimes I ask him.... "why is my life this way?" and other times I ask "why do I have to go through this", and more commonly "why can't I ever catch a break"?...
The asking of these questions reveals something about myself, but ultimately it points to a relationship with God that is one of partial mystery. If life is truly a journey, then God only becomes more revealed to us as time goes on (as faith either grows, diminishes, or stays the same) and as our relationship deepens. It sometimes can be discouraging to watch things fall apart right in front of ourselves and not know how to fix them (sometimes not even being able to fix them... like the events that took place last week); but God is merciful...
Sometimes he feels distant, sometimes he seems uncaring... but he has revealed his love in ways that I (nor anyone) will truly be able to understand in this lifetime...