Thursday, December 10, 2009

L.A.: The Final Blog- How do I like my PB, Chunky that's how...

I never knew that the last 8 months could be such an emotional experience. I never knew how much I had to learn about myself post-Simpson.

A friend once told me that Los Angeles is pretty much the opposite of what you think that it is. I would say that is true, and while I have never found love for this city- I have found love in something that I never expected to find, a group of friends that have challenged, strengthened, and loved me (and I them).
No one was telling me how it was going to be when I moved down. No one told me how much I would go through, or what kinds of conflictons I would deal with. I realize now that this semester wasn't really about film at all... it was about finding that balance in my life that once Spring semester 2009 at Simpson hit, was becoming harder and harder to find. I believe that in my senior year I finally lost track of where I was going- yet, I never felt as okay with that until now.

The difference? I can't really say for sure, but I believe that the people who have come into my life in this time have become cherished friendships and even more like family...

I can say that the connections I have made with these people that I love have created a unique, and ultimately touching bond that isn't easy to fully encapture into words. It was as if when we were able to get together, everything seemed to become less hectic- and it became more about shaping one another into our future lives.

So many people I could mention have become intregal parts of my life in the last 6 months. I say 6, because there are those at home that have helped me GREATLY and CONTINUE to do so every day. This blog entry is a culimination of that summer and this semester- as in this time I finally realize how much we need each other, and how much opportunity and beauty there truly is in the world...

I will miss each and every one of you... I don't know what a week from now is going to look like... and I don't know how I can explain to myself just what the next steps will be... but know that my love and support for you (whether in Washington, California, Minnesota, Texas, Florida, or elsewhere) will never die... because I simply don't believe in goodbyes... I only believe in the power that we (as human beings) share in creating/preserving/building love, that we have learned from our creator, that can withstand ANYTHING.

As I open my eyes I can see... just how impactful you have been on my life and it truly fills my eyes with tears... tears of joy and hope... and love....
I am truly saddened to leave you that are here... and those that I have made bonds with here (in LA)...
I am, at this moment, in full realization that this semester was probably the most difficult season of my whole life... but it was worth it... for all of you....

I love you all even more than words can say.
L.A. stay classy....

Monday, November 30, 2009

we are men of action, lies do not become us's a bittersweet symphony this life...

some days the pulsations of the mind and the chasms of the heart strain and wane as the rivers and valleys flow... yet one cannot always express into words the ramifications of our inner desires/thoughts/musings/frustrations...

blessing + faith + dissonance + hurt + fear + anxiety + loss

to speak the words of ones true self for all the world to see... would be to open up and peel back the layers to show every piece and every part of what lies underneath...

reaching out. i wish i could find another way to say what was said... to say how it will be... to reflect on what i feel and what has occurred.... but i don't know if i can right now.

dear reckoner.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

give thanks

First off let me note that I am back in Washington for a few days. I unfortunately will not be able to visit/see very many people when I am home- as my schedule simply won't allow for it; but know that if I didn't get to see you I will be home for December! And we can definitely hangout then.
It is strange to me, to shift from life in L.A. back to my small little hometown. Its quite a strange occurance (possibly locational shell shock in a way). It almost feels surreal. I suppose that means that my adjusment takes a little longer each time I enter into a "new" place. I am listening to Ben Folds right now and working on my script.
For those who didn't hear (which I believe most should because of my status update) I was one of only 5 students whose pitches were chosen by a producer to read. Its all very exciting, as I had thought that I did a rather poor job of presenting my material. Apparently not! haha. It is very exciting because I am finding more and more that I would love to pursue a career that includes both creativity and writing. I suppose that is why I was really drawn to L.A. I still have a great desire to get my masters degree and teach, but I see the next few years being a process where I get to express my creative ideas in some fashion. I don't know how successful I will be in such a venture, but I truly believe that it is something that will bring a lot of fulfillment. To some this may be new, to others not so much- I just felt that I should announce it in fashion. I am working on the first draft of my first full-length screenplay, and after I turn it in I will be getting a great amount of notes from my awesome screenwriting professor Kris Young. Once I get around to writing a second draft I will send it off to this producer (Brady Nespell) and he will read it and let me know what he thinks. I think that it will be a good lesson/process for me to learn if I am to ever get a full length book published! woo! That would be cool.
I am listening to Ben Folds (as I mentioned earlier) and he talks a lot about going home and going through a lot of life experiences that push us and break us. I think that in the last year I have learned more about myself, the world, and ultimately life just by experiencing life with other people. I am amazed at the wisdom and foolishness; I am amazed at what has been done, and what hasn't been done; I am simply amazed at what I have learned.
We may, at times, find that experiences lead us to places that we never intended to go- but I think that is in fact a part of what makes life what it is. Without a sense of struggle, pain, or yearning could we ever know true happiness, success, or even love? I doubt that we could.
Not that we wish upon ourselves a life of grief for single moments of happiness, but you understand my point. I find that in this place (home) I have the chance this week to delve into what has kept me afloat the last few months, and what ultimately gives me foundation for where I go/what I do. That can sometimes be quite a revelation, but also an accomplishment- to know that you are doing something for a purpose. There is nothing better than finding that something you have done/ said/acted upon has helped someone else. Maybe even made them stronger.
To even sense that personal sacrifice made a difference is enough to spend a life in humility... a life in continual love and devotion for your fellow man. There is so much to give and sometimes we get hung up on our hinderences. I have weaknesses, plenty of them, and sometimes they grip me into dark slumbers where I cannot find the light- but as I understand that I regardless of my weakness, I can help influence the world for good- I end up understanding that life truly has purpose.
That is something to be thankful for. That God gives to his creation purpose, and we in turn love one another in the life that we are given.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Lists of Tens: Part 1

Random Lists for a Neverending Day.

  • 10 things I do frequently at my internship.
  1. Answer the phone. Regardless of popular belief, if a call is for someone you don't transfer straight to them- you transfer to the guy sitting 5-feet away from you and he will transfer the caller
  2. Browse. Some popular sites are: deviantart, cinematical, facebook, ign, cnn, and bbc
  3. Read. In the beginning I was just reading submissions, but now I am reading entire novels. Somedays it is nice to have something to challenge me, but most days I wonder if I will ever get to read anything that appeals to me.
  4. Stock. 
  5. IM. Its the only way that you are "supposed" to get ahold of assistants, managers, or jr. executives... and it works... for the most part. I just updated my program yesterday and it is looking rather slick
  6. Grab clients snacks.
  7. Stare. Straight ahead.
  8. Research Story Ideas, Scripts, Story Elements, Screenwriting shortcuts, etc.
  9. Meet with the assistants/ and my supervisor to gain a better understanding of the industry
  10. Drink lots of liquids. Frequent the always locked bathroom. And get free California Pizza Kitchen
  • 10 Films I love (hard to narrow it down this far... seriously- films chosen for rewatchability... not necessarily for critical/artistic greatness)
  1. Good Will Hunting- Matt Damon + Robin Williams make an amazing team in this heart pulsing drama centering on the potential of individuals and the choices we make to live out our talents
  2. Heathers- Part Dark Comedy, Part 80s teen flick; Heathers is one of my favorites just because of how influential it feels. Even though there have been very few films like it, it seems to have trickled down into numerous other influential films.
  3. Edward Scissorhands- Yes, I know, two Wynona Ryder films... I tell you it wasn't on purpose...haha... Edward Scissorhands is an insanely beautiful film and I am amazed at the fact that it took me 4 different viewings to get all the way through it (due to distractions)
  4. The Truman Show- Seriously, how did Jim Carrey not get an award for this film? It is so well composed, written, and directed that you feel as though maybe there really is a television show all about one man.
  5. Thank You For Smoking- Witty, Sarcastic, and down right insightful.
  6. Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz
  7. Die Hard- The first, and definitely the best. I could watch this movie over and over again and never get tired.
  8. Back to the Future (1)- Seriously, how cool is this film? I can't get enough of it! The fact that it never seems to age makes it that much more transcendent.
  9. The Royal Tenenbaums/The Life Aquatic- Cheating? This is my blog... and I can do what I want! I love both of these films equally as I think the core principles of both stand together in a harmonious circle of indie-awesomeness.
  10. The Jerk- Steve Martin's first (and I think best) film... he was born a poor black child, who had to rise above his humble beginnings
  • 10 Cool Sounding Disease/Sickness Names (recommended by C. Harvey)
  1. Canine Madness (Rabbies)
  2. Lockjaw (Tetanus)
  3. Rickets (Skeletal Disease)
  4. Sangenious Crust- Scabs
  5. Water on Brain (Enlarged Head)
  6. San Joquin Valley Sickness/ Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever/ Anything named after a place makes it that much cooler... right?
  7. Whooping Cough
  8. Montezuma's Revenge
  9. River Blindness
  10. Parotitis
  • 10 Things that bring me back (nostalgia)
  1. CD Players- Remember.. c'mon... Remember
  2. Super Nintendo/N64- Super Mario World, Killer Instinct, Mario RPG, Earthworm Jim, DKC 1+2, Legend of Zelda, Breath of Fire, Banjo Kazooie, Goldeneye, Super Mario 64, Street Fighter II ...etc.
  3. Steven Spielberg films (save for his new ones... obviously)
  4. Pumping Up Your BBall shoes- I want some... seriously...right now
  5. Music (old, new, whatever- it brings me to some place... here or there)
  6. Holiday get-togethers: They don't happen so much these days, but I remember hanging out with family and friends for a usually fun time
  7. Random gifts from friends
  8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, That 70s Show, or The Simpsons
  9. Carl's Jr.- always reminds me of hanging out with my dad when I was little.
  10. Raked leaves/Winter days
  • 10 people I wish I could meet/ could have met
  1. Zooey Deschanel
  2. Ellen Page
  3. Steven Spielberg
  4. Barack Obama
  5. David Sedaris
  6. Paul McCartney
  7. Steve Martin
  8. Tina Fey
  9. Matt Groening
  10. Audrey Hepburn
  • 10 Tv Shows I wish would have stuck around
  1. The Critic- I love Jon Lovitz, and I don't care who knows it. Seriously, this show was WAY before its time. The combination of film criticism with popular culture with current events= a fantastic blend of comedy! This would be the precursor to today's Family Guy... Only ten times better.
  2. Firefly- I know, I know... I'm probably one of the thousands of people who wish this... and no, having the movie doesn't make it better. The idea of mixing a western with science fiction/space exploration is incredible and the touches of Joss Whedon make it that much more epic. Too bad only 13 episodes ran.
  3. That 70s Show- Seriously Topher Grace + Asthon Kutcher... couldn't you have done one more season? Instead of finishing out their contracts, the dynamic duo splits from the show leaving the rest of the cast reeling for a terrible 8th season... what a waste...
  4. Dead Like Me
  5. Arrested Development- Seriously!
  6. Pushing Daisies- quirky, colorful, and whimsical... seriously they could have done with one more season at least.
  7. Studio 60- when compared with 30 Rock... it just wasn't going to cut it, but as its own entity Studio 60 was clever and different enough to be its own distinct show.
  8. Kings- should have done more to market it.
  9. Freakazoid!- quirky Steven Spielberg cartoon...
  10. King of the Hill- there will always be a place in my heart for that show... so good.
  • 10 Books I Probably Should have Read by Now:
  1. Great Gatsby
  2. The second half of Catcher in the Rye (how have I not finished it?)
  3. The Rest of the Harry Potter Books (meaning 2-6... yes I know...)
  4. Confederacy of Dunces
  5. All Quiet on the Western Front
  6. Watership Down
  7. Twilight (you know... to see what the hub-ub is about... plus I told K. Navarro that I would)
  8. His Dark Materials 2 +3
  9. Pride and Prejudice
  10. The rest of the Bible
  • 10 addictive things
  1. Arizona Ice Tea
  2. Chinese Food
  3. Checking Facebook
  4. Coming up with ideas, and never writing them down (fail)
  5. Playstation3/Wii
  6. Sleep
  7. Running (used to)
  8. Coffee
  9. Movie Marathons
  10. Long Conversations
  • 5 Characters I identify with (elements of character/personality)
  1. Rob from High Fidelity
  2. George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life
  3. Young Edward Bloom from Big Fish
  4. (still contemplating)
  5. (still contemplating)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Film Shoots... And Too Many Colas...

I wish that I could type in Eurostile on this blog... seriously it would make my day...

This past weekend was the H.P.W shoot for "Ginger" formerly called "Miss Vitus"... yeah I don't like that either. Anyways, I found out how difficult it truly is to be in production design. It makes me think about all that I take for granted when watching films... all the detail and organization that goes into framing every shot, angle, scene... its fantastic. I loved being able to be such an integral part of the project... as every scene depended upon what was placed within it. I got to make a freaking huge gumball (made from a wire cage ball, spray insulation, a layer of paper mache, more spray insulation, pink paint, and a collective amount of gum- chewed by the crew). It was truly a disgusting masterpiece. I ended up getting some of the insulation on my air (unbeknown st to me)... and it ended up ripping off a layer of skin and burning my newly revealed flesh... talk about taking one for the team...

The shoot went so smooth, and I seriously got so lucky so many times (due to finding exactly what I needed in the house! that correlated with the stuff I brought and the stuff I envisioned). I felt like a real professional- I think we all did- working together pretty much independently but all at once like a team... it was fun, exhausting, and I am glad that it is over! Now to wait for the finished product...ha...

I seriously need to stop drinking pop... or anything with too much sugar... I don't like the after effects...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Angeles: Screenplays + Teas + Running on Full Speed

In moments of lenghty days, one should always have tea nearby. It has saved my life. Today I bought Red Roobios and Tension Tamer. Simply put: soul satisfaction. It adds to my steadily growing (box wise), slowly diminishing (individual bag-wise) addiction to the stuff. Maybe that's why I have trouble sleeping. Or maybe I can't get my mind to shut off in time. Seriously I feel as though my creativity is either being syphoned or squashed the last few days. I get little bursts, but if I don't latch on I feel lost and disoriented. Trying to come at something with this feeling of "it has to be perfect the first time through or its not worth it" mentality is slowly dying. I just can't expect my screenplay to become fully realized in a matter of minutes, and I can't devote short spurts of energy to something that needs large scale nourishment. I feel that if I had more time I could do it, but the past few days I have felt like I am on ramming speed. Either that or I am so dead that I can't do anything but zombify in a chair. I at least wrote Maggie's MPP script for her, and I am actually quite proud of the way it came out. It was a little story called "1999" involving a workaholic columnist who goes to a y2k party (80s themed) where she finds that her brother (who has been MIA from her life for the past few months) is attending. They reconnect and eventually she gives up her responsibilities, cause hey- y2k could have been the end...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

listen to yourself... its amazing what you may hear

I have been going through old writings and listening to old songs... and I am surprised to hear my voice.

Both in writing and in vocal tone... my voice resonates a sound that I recognize as a "time and a place"... yet it also reaches out to me today... because it lets me know where I've gone... and how I've changed.

I miss making music. Almost all of my close friends in high school were musicians. A lot of my best/closest friends in college were musicians. I know a lot of musicians... I sometimes wish I knew how to play instruments just so I wouldn't have to rely on others, but at the same time having someone to confide in (music/creative wise) fills a niche that solo simply doesn't...

I know that my recorded music isn't that great... I know it needs a lot of work (and DEFINITELY a better recorder...because the last guys screwed me over... he didn't really care about helping me...).

I have had so many more experiences in the time since I recorded my last song (2007)... and I feel as though a comeback is on the horizon... maybe... who knows...

I need to start writing poetry/songs again...

if you are interested in hearing some of my stuff... just ask...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Angeles: Things I don't Want... Part one

The one thing that I've really realized these days is the continued dwindling down of video rental stores. Its a sad reality to think that one day I won't be able to just go and rent whatever movie I want, in any mood that I am in. Sure I could go to RedBox, but in all reality they never have anything that I would want to rent (i.e. good films). Sure I could restart my netflix account, but the thing is that so many times I would get films in the mail that at one time I wanted to see, but really couldn't see myself watching when they finally arrived. Sure I could go out and buy films, or torrent until the internet blows itself up but really I just don't want to have such an integral part of my movie watching taken away. Its the same with the theater experience. Why would I want to watch a crappy webcam version of a film? I wouldn't.
I know that Hollywood/Blockbuster is expensive, and sometimes I wonder how they haven't caught onto the reality of 99 cent rentals (seriously you will make so much more money in the long haul), but I don't want to have them just disappear. Maybe this is a pointless argument, but one day you will be sitting around wishing you could watch an old release like "Grumpy Old Men", a foreign film like "Howl's Moving Castle", and the 1973 version of "The Wicker Man"... and you won't have any place to go.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Angeles 13: The Saga of Dave and Eric vs. Space Kitty...

In the beginning there was only the Intergalactic fiend known as Space Kitty. He had one desire... blast all that was in his way to order to find space-catnip and the occasional astro-mouse... Unfortunately for him...

Me and Dave showed up. We just happened to be on our way to 7-11 to get Domo Fuji Apple Slurpees, when we stumbled upon his evil Scratching Post Space Station. He was not pleased.

We mounted an attack in our defense....
But, as tired poor college students, we weren't expecting to have to bring any sort of high-tech weaponry and were soon vaporized by Space Kittys planet-destroying super laser eyes. Dave was terrified by this revelation and died, I was burnt to a crisp. Oh well. My only regret was I never got that slurpee. I'd be mad at him... except he looks so fantastic in those stunna-shades... good for him...

In the end, there was only Space Kitty.... and our guts... in space...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Angeles 12: 10 things I....

Here are a few things that I wish I could/ plan on doing in the future (hopefully the near future):

1. Learn to play the piano (seriously...)
2. Learn to play the guitar (again... seriously)
3. Go to either Europe or NZ on a trip (which may happen if my uncle ken helps me out!)
4. Finish a full-length screenplay (working on it)
5. Get in shape (in progress)
6. Get a clearer vision of what I want to do for a "career" (no clue)
7. Gain perspective on what December will mean
8. Tattoo
9. Do some sort of public speaking
10. Finish something I start...

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Angeles 11

......:there is something on my mind, and I just can't quite figure it out, I wonder if it will come out.... or perhaps, it will drift with me as I sleep- fading into the next day, where possibly it will come out once again, but perhaps it will not... and if then, may it be laid to sleep as I am, in a case for closed eyes and unfurrowed brow... to lay with the stars without a sense of time... drifting slowly, I see it not but alas my time is now:.....

Monday, September 28, 2009

Angeles 10: Famous People

Yesterday I had an interaction with a celebrity, a Mr. Ryan Gosling, right outside the El Rey Theater, and it made me realize something quite profound about famous people.
What I realized was that these people's jobs are 'being famous', and that is what their daily lives consist of, but these people are always trying to find a sense of normalcy in their lives. For the most part, famous people don't like being stared at, asked for autographs every 5 seconds, sought out after by all kinds of weird fan people...and it is funny that "regular people" are always trying to become famous, while "famous people" are always trying to be normal.
I find it sad, and kind of ironic. These people define what we consider "cool" and "hot", yet how many of them could honestly say that they just want to be like everyone else once in awhile? Probably quite a few. I can only make this observation of course, because I (myself) am not famous.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Angeles 8: 1:18 am

This is the earliest I have been back to my apartment all semester.
That may not sound that "early" to many of you, but many of my extracurricular endeavors have me out until at most 2:30 am every morning. This does not always fare well with the next day (internship days predominately), but I continue to do this, because I like being around the people I go and see.

I lay in bed. Looking at the ceiling. I lay their for 20 minutes. My eyes cannot close. Not because I have been unaccustomed to sleeping at this time, but because my mind finally has time to wander. When my thoughts begin to wander, my mind and my heart take a walk together. Sometimes it is a subtle union, where emotions and reasoning work side by side. Other times I find them beating each other with 2 X 4's and leaving the other to die in a ditch. Other times I find that both have gone separate directions and it would be fruitless to attempt to get them to reconnect. Don't think me crazy for using this analogy, I am just attempting to place in sight of my thought process.

Rarely do I feel comfortable enough to truly just lay. Many times I am set on sleeping, other times on attempting to stay awake, but other times I lay with the intention of hearing, seeing, feeling once again. To come to a point where everything meets me, and grasps hold of my eyes in dilating their sight.

If everything that I've ever experienced was written down in a book and handed to me, would I want to read it? And if I did choose to do so, would their be moments that show me insights that I never even comprehended? I think so, but what would that be?!?

As I lay in my bed my mind and my heart go back to times that were different than this, and reminisce in their comforts, or maybe even struggle with their nostalgia. Depending on the emotions attached with the events. Quite possibly, I believe that we hold onto the good and the bad, because we know (somehow) that if we completely forsook either, then we would somehow cease to exist in some way. Maybe that's good, maybe ceasing to exist in some areas would make us better, happier, fuller, more prominent people. I guess what we must do, is do the best with where we are now, always looking back at where we've come- while being mindful of what is to come. Maybe that's how it works, I cannot say for sure though.

My thoughts grab hold of people who I care deeply for, and who may have gone away (to other places than where I am)- to other spaces where I do not currently reside. My thoughts go to the times where the space/distance was not so revealed, and in that residing place I find comfort, but also a little sadness. I wish at times that I could better communicate myself to those who do not understand/realize who I really am. I hate having to constantly reassess, but in starting something new, there is a lack of the familiar and sometimes we have to "re sell" ourselves to these people, hoping that they recognize the main points, the mannerisms, the realities, the truth of you!

Personal things I suppose. Personal things that I cannot keep all to myself.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Angeles 7: ?

Its amazing how far we can go, without ever really saying anything...

How much we have pent up inside, waiting for someone to hear, yet if they don't and it doesn't come out... where does it all go?

The shadowlands...


I never thought that I would decide to provide an ensuing point of "contemplation"- for my hundredth blog entry, but here it is!

Over the course of the last year I have learned so much about the world, God, music, film, culture, faith, love, hate, anger, happiness, truth, falsity, politics, literature, writing, communication, women, relationships, friendships, learning to call people back, traveling, cars, not wanting certain things, epeskidarianism, life, myself, others, reality/philosophy, art, photography, sports.... etc...

The amount of knowledge one gains in a time such as this can shake one to the core just taking it all in. I have been able to drop old burdens, and have in the process been able to make great strides. Burdens however can be reassessed, retaken- almost given new life in new situations. I think that given a choice as to whether I would have a carefree life with no consequence, versus a more difficult life with greater internal/external fulfillment (reward internal, expansion external)- then I would probably choose the latter.

Some highlights from this blog (that you may enjoy)... as its hundredth entry marks a new age/dawn:










Monday, September 14, 2009

films that catch my interest

Whip it!
A Serious Man
Capitalism: A Love Story
The Invention of Lying
Where the Wild Things Are
Gentleman Broncos
The Box
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Pirate Radio
Up in the Air
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Road
Lovely Bones
It's Complicated
Sherlock Holmes

Angeles 6: interning (a)

basically I have come to realize that if I want to make an input at my internship, I basically have to "be in the right place at the right time". To actually have any creative input requires me to enter into conversations at a precise time, and hope that I get a chance to express my thoughts.

right now I am answering phones and sitting in reception. the whole staff (save for the two other interns) are eating in the conference room.

I have read three screenplays today, none of which are any good, and it gives me some hope that I could possibly write something better... maybe... who knows...

I think its funny that people tailor their screenplays in such a way, that they legitimately think that their idea is "a new version of this" or a "new twist on that". What's even more humorous, is this idea that indie films should be referenced in how you explain your stories/characters. I highly doubt that the writer of 500 Days of Summer, or Juno was sitting around pitching the idea as a indie version of romantic comedy, or an indie version of she's having a baby... I highly doubt it. So why then do writers insist on referencing these films and putting their unclever clutter in the same vain? I don't know... maybe I'm being a bit cynical... but sometimes I wonder why we don't try to be a little more original and write from the heart...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Angeles V: Please brake for Koreans...

I went and hung out with an old friend today, a Mr. Aaron Howard (of Simpson University fame), and found it to be an enjoyable afternoon. I ordered so much teriyaki/sushi, and had time to catch up and reminisce. Swan, we wish you were with us (although you won't probably read my blog to hear that...ha).

I found that Culver City is kind of like what I imagined Hollywood to look like. By "Culver City", I mean the area surrounding Sony Pictures. It is pretty upscale over there.

About halfway down California my brake pads were shot... I haven't had the time to go and get them replaced; but luckily I haven't been driving hardly at all since my arrival (3 weeks ago!). It took me forever to find a Midas station, which is ironically two buildings down from my new job (which I can only find because of the giant John Wayne statue in front of it). Unfortunately it can't be fixed till tomorrow...and its gonna cost $200.00 to do all the parts and labor. Damn, I wish I would have taken some car repair courses at a JC.

I find that whenever you need to find something, lets say a gas station or a car wash, you can't find one...
It's like cruel fate stating "you had your chance when you saw gas stations earlier, but no you wanted a cheaper price, so I am gonna let you drop below E, and then have to go to a really expensive station in the middle of Korea town... where no one pays attention to 'dont walk' signs"...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Angeles 4: The Power of Art + The Power of Words

Art + Words

The ability to combine the spoken/written word with the transcendence of art is simply put: incredible. To be able to show light upon the simplicities of our realities, the grandness of what is beyond, and the beauty of what is felt inside- all become methods for connection. The yearnings of the heart are to seek that which they are searching for, that which they are longing for, and at times they will not find bond with another, but when it does the power is immense. Our minds analyze, our hearts emotionalize, and our souls seek to find balance in what we "see".

In spite of what one's definition of "art" or even "words", it is a universal desire to find connection. The expressions of an individual, or even a group express what cannot be determined by mere glance, but by continued analysis. To be "caught" off guard by a work of art, is to find something within that subject that draws us to a place of "experience". These experiences make us feel as though we are the only ones in the world who are seeing, possibly for the first time, the specialness of the subject. That is power. The power to move. The power to enlighten. The power to change. The power to inspire, or possibly even turn us away.

What spurred this on in my thinking? I can't say for sure, but it has become more apparent as time goes on that the things we "connect" with, can truly go "above and beyond" our expectations of the journey.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Angeles 3: Cheapfood+brightsunnywindows

I have been itching to get back into school ever since I walked in April, and finally (during the second week of my new "school") I have felt like it is becoming more like what I have been waiting for. Some people think I must be crazy to love school/learning, and maybe I am; but maybe I'm not. I have started to realize that I need to start picking up where I left off with things like paper-writing, and reading... things that ultimately didn't pop-up over the summer (save for a 2 hour project on suffering in the world).
I went out with some friends today (the Navarros! and mike), and we went grocery shopping. I feel like I always come home with groceries, but in all reality I only get a few items every time. I like hanging out with these people, it has been really fun entering into new relationships. Quite refreshing in some cases.
The brightness from my window beats down on me, in an almost uncomfortable way, yet its warmth fills me with a sense of newness... a sense of lightness.
Tonight we are all going to go see John Williams perform at the Hollywood Bowl, which has always been a dream of mine to see. If he plays Jurassic Park, I might just weep. :)
I am excited for what the day brings, I am excited to see the sun set, I am excited to see the moon, and fall asleep in knowing that tomorrow is truly something new.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Angeles 2: Something/Sometimes

"I know I'm young but I'm way too old to breathe..."- Kings of Leon

So much is spinning around my head. So much I can't quite pinpoint, so much I can't quite define. I kind of wish I had a 12-step program, cause I feel like a junkie without a fix... only my thoughts to entertain me. Living in Los Angeles has been an interesting experience thusfar. I am enjoying it a lot, and finally starting to really feel adjusted to the surrounding area. Albeit, I still feel like a tourist.
Living in the tension is something that adds so much complexity... and at times it feels like too much. I have faith, as it is the only thing that can truly hold us together inside. For this, and everyday I walk... I hope to walk in faith.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Angeles: 1

So I moved to Los Angeles, for the few of you who didn't probably know, for a four-month film studies program. If you recall (from possible conversation), I decided two weeks before graduation that I was moving towards 'walking' instead of receiving my degree, and the reasoning behind it lies in this program. My concentration is writing- the aspiration that has continued to grow in the last two years at an alarming rate. Most of the students here are looking to get into actual production, which is great, but I have seen myself as more of an idea-person, or simply just a writer. The role of contribution is only part of my ambition. I am realistic, as well as humble about this new experience. I am looking forward to meeting new people, learning from new people, and understanding what God has for me in my time here, and my time to come.
Its exciting, its a little intimidating, and its also a little daunting as to what comes next... but I guess that's the fine print that we all forget to read when entering into something new.
I think we are all at a place where we are eager to "get started", but I am very grateful for a staggered start, due to not wanting to be "burnt out" in the very beginning. My internship is the most exciting element of this entire experience, as I don't know where I will be working, or what I will be doing. This interests me, because wherever I could get placed could impact me in ways that other opportunities could never do. I really agree with what Kris said this morning, when she stated "you need to allow yourself to enter in, without forsaking your own sense of identity, but also willing to come into things open minded." That is truly key... and it is something that I have been incorporating for some time now and will continue to do so.
I know that God will continue to show his grace, regardless.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

running thoughts

The last few weeks have been a challenge.
With every day comes a new and sometimes interesting addition, that makes living either much more enjoyable, or very much miserable. Caring for my well-being in this time has been a chore, as I do not wish to lose hope, nor do I wish to become something that I know that I am not...

Tonight I anticipated a 6-mile run. I ran 4. That's good enough for me. During these challenging past few weeks I have neglected my "training" on most every day (except for a bit last week). During this time, I have also neglected my writing (hence why my blogs have been so scarce... Mike I am sorry... :) )

As I was running I began to think about a variety of topics that have been on my mind lately (dating relationships, friendships, intentionality, who I am as a person compared to other guys, future related things, LA, money, figuring out plans, work, etc etc etc). I find that as I run, the ideas seem to just pour out, as if they have been waiting for me to just sit back and listen.

It made me sad in a sense to concentrate on so many hard things all at once... in fact realizing the shortcomings of many decisions/actions of the past few weeks have made things difficult in general ( in a variety of different outlets/ categories... I won't go into great detail as there are many different ones).

Everything felt so overwhelming and...
then an instrumental song came on that I have heard a million times... and I realized something profound... something I hadn't realized all along.

These things that we are striving for, the desires that we are hoping to attain, the value that we place on the "someday" and the "somehow" can pale in comparison to the unrecognized value of the "here" and the "now". We are constantly living for ideals, and never trying to understand what our lives are composed of at this time. The experiences we have with others can help change us (for better or worse), but without those experiences... would we even be able to say that we know another person, let alone ourselves? If we cannot try and understand the situations we find ourselves in now, are we even equipped to enter into what will be?
We can let opportunities walk away without even realizing the potential... and in that sense we miss out on what "could be" (the probable as well as the ideal).

Some examples of occurrences that ultimately help redefine my thoughts on things:

1.Sitting in a parking lot with a good friend and struggling for warmth after a long talk concerning all sorts of various issues = the sitting was not just a random occurrence, but a signifier of something meaningful... prefaced by hard talks and comforting hugs.

2. Long speeches, and prepared words = a desire to see change in others, as well as myself and to put forth an effort now to see things progress tomorrow... prefaced by a feeling that the message wouldn't be received.

3. Attempting to better understand oneself by understanding another person's thought process

I could go on...
The point is that the things that we experience now, will effect us in what is to come. We cannot help sometimes the baggage that we carry with us, and with that we have to continually find ways to "leap over our own bounds"... and that in itself can be tough... but it can be done...

Most important is who you are in these times, because life is a journey. A journey that takes a lifetime. The only disclaimer is that there will be pitfalls... and those pitfalls can hinder us or ultimately help us. In these times where new revelations appear... it seems as though a light is shining out in directing us. By experiencing these moments of warmth, comfort, growth, realization, hardship, suffering... we in essence continue on the journey in a new way. It is not so much what I want to do with my life that makes me who I am, but what I am willing to do today, tomorrow, and yesterday.

Monday, July 27, 2009

.:that which lingers:.

standing still on a marquee of solemn
lies ties that bind a renegade to a saint
from beneath the empty wish of a passing thrill
taken down from the halls of forgotten novels
and shattered into a million pieces

reasoning becomes a chore when coupled with so much
disillusion, yet without passion it becomes merely just a solution
to an unfixable composition

marry me she said yet she never truly meant so much a greeting
bury me he said yet he never truly meant to find things fleeting

grasping forward with a new sense of spirit
tripping and falling won't disrespect... only circumvent the challenge

Radial lines to distant space

Sunday, July 19, 2009

eric circa 2002

Just now I was thinking about what it would be like to hear myself talk back in high school. I suppose it is partly out of curiosity, but also out of a desire to figure out how I might have changed or stayed the same.
I am still essentially the same person that I always was, except... well, I am older and albeit maybe a little wiser.

Does anyone ever stop and think that sometimes ignorance is bliss? I struggled through some of the most difficult times in my life during high school (which will be reiterated in the next installment... that is if anyone actually reads my blogs anymore!); but in retrospect... maybe things weren't as difficult overall... or maybe they were and I have tried to forget the pain...

Anyways... taking a journey into my past... circa 2002/2003 or so... lets see where we are at...

I was definitely the kind of kid you could relate to, in fact I feel as though I have always made it my mission to connect with others (partly out of the love for friendships, but also out of a need that became a dependency upon others). I definitely wasn't as open, or as open minded as I am now, and I certainly would have been "more naive" in many senses.

During this time I struggled a lot with figuring out a personal identity, something that took me many years to truly find. I was probably pretty typical of most guys my age: I liked Jimmy Eat World, Van Halen, and Creed; I liked playing video games, but would rather hang out with other people; loved movies (same as now); girl crazy (in a much milder sense than you would imagine for a boy of 15); and I enjoyed making others laugh. I tried being counter culture (but not like I do now). The frustrations and the musings, and the overall attitude I have now... did not exist. At all. Not really.

Many things that I see in Eric of 2002, still resonate today. Yet, as I look back at this time in my life, I find that I didn't have much of an understanding of anything beyond what I was experiencing. There was no deep soul searching during this time, nor was there an acknowledgment of the future; there simply wasn't anything but the "here" and the "now" in my mind. In this sense, the me of 2002 was very much concerned only with what he saw before him.

I had a few "relationships" during this time (with girls I mean). I always set out to be the nice guy... and was usually going for the kind of girls that typically don't go for the nice guys. Its alright, I've gotten over the disappointment by now... but it is still kind of funny in a way. It seems that during this time, girls were such a new and exciting reality, that any of them showing interest in me raised awareness of the whole opposite gender. This ultimately led to an understanding of women that combined with having mostly girls as friends (during this time) that the whole notion of "treating girls right" was more important than simply "looking for a score". People always ask "how did you ever come to respect women so much?"... I should tell them "well... Its just who I am" and I think that comes from this time in my life. I would be careful to state that during this time that even though I saw myself as a "good" person, and had good intentions, doesn't mean that things didn't go awry... and furthermore, doesn't mean that this time wasn't also devastating to my emotions at the time... that must be stated. Just because you pursue someone hoping for the best, doesn't mean that they are looking to oblige the request.

In 2002, I most likely would have hung out with you, tried to be funny, maybe even go along with whatever crazy stunt you wanted me to pull (which actually was quite a reality during this period of time); but I don't think I would have been very engaging, nor do I think that I would have "made my voice heard" as I began to do during later periods of time. I was very surface level... in a lot of senses.

If I could meet myself at this point and time... I would probably give myself a hug... and tell him to not lose hope for the future years, I would probably tell him to enjoy life while it is simple (although simplicity comes and goes throughout our lives), and I most of all would have told him to be himself... because if there was one thing that this time brought about... was insecurity, and the impulse to have everyone like me... and have everyone "feed into me"... during this time, I began to truly become worry some about what others thought... and that (more than anything at this time in my life) became a negative influence on what I would do, say, think, and feel.

Eric 2002. a kid in a sense.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

MidAisle Critic: Summer Movie Reviews: The Half Blood Prince

"Why is it everytime some form of trouble occurs you three are always behind it?"- McGonaghal
"Believe me mum, I've been asking myself the same question for the last 6 years"- Ron

NOTE:This isn't so much a review as collected thoughts about the film

Its been two years since the last Potter film came into being, and to be quite honest it has been a long two years. There is truly something to be said about a series that has captured an entire generation of readers, and then is able to continue to do so visually in every new film adaption that makes its way to the cineplex. In this reviewers eyes, Harry Potter is truly a rare gem of a series, and somehow my love has been rekindled for it. Thus, I think of the story, characters, and books/films in much more personal terms (as part of my adolescence as well as my young adult life). That is a rare thing these days, to have ones imagination rekindled.
I suppose I say this to distinguish against an idea that a film/book series such as this has to be all about effects and not necessarily about character. That translates to mean "emotionally detached in attempting to mesmerize us", which subsequently is the problem in today's explosive driven, cgi fanfaring, fanboy loving film scene.
So many times I have sat down to watch films with twice the action as HBP, yet with the depth/emotional ties completely forsaken in the name of cheap one-liners and cardboard stereotypes.
Half Blood Prince (the film) is beautifully shot (by the woman who brought us Amelie no less!), faithfully adapts the book (although a few sequences were cut), and manages to once again move the audience in connecting with our favorite wizarding triad.
The film is not perfect, but with each Potter film (save for what I consider the worst= Goblet of Fire) the quality of acting, writing, and directing makes tremendous efforts to improve. I could have used more explanation of the implications of who the Half Blood Prince was (even though I obviously know), and felt as though more time to divulge into that area of the plot would have been helpful for members of the audience unfamiliar with the books. Also, I felt as though certain characters (Hagrid specifically) could have seen more airtime, although in the case of Hagrid, the scene with Slughorn and Potter was really a great sidenote in that films otherwise romantically driven or wizarding driven counterplots.
It was nice to see Tom Fallon finally get more screen time, and especially nice to see some further strides in allowing the many costars (Ron, Hermoine, etc) get adequate amounts of time to develop and transcend expectations.

Those who have grown up with Harry have realized the power in the messages behind the wands; and in that I want to divulge something... the realization that this generations "thing" will be Harry Potter. As the final films are in production now, I think its a pretty good time to read the books, just to continue this nostalgia buzzing through me... I just really don't want it to end.... :)

Monday, July 13, 2009

the blog of tens + fives= of no little consequence

top 5 beastie boys songs

1. eggman
2. ch-check it out
3. an open letter to nyc
4. shazam!
5. intergalactic

top 5 things I love about summer 2009

1. hanging out at rockefeller/wetmore with my sweet friends
2. getting time to just relax
3. hanging with mark + lindsey
4. good conversations at work
5. midnight showings

top 5 films of this summer thus far

1. star trek
2. away we go
3. drag me to hell
4. up
5. public enemies

top 5 favorite shows concerning banana stands, magic shows, and charlie brown jokes

1. arrested development
2. arrested development
3. arrested development
4. arrested development
5. arrested development

Friday, July 10, 2009

MidAisle Critic: Summer Movie Reviews: Away We Go

Last night my brother and I saw the latest film from director Sam Mendes. Both of us consider ourselves fans of John Krasinski, and I (I have not asked my brother so I do not know his response) am a big fan of Mendes other work (revolutionary road, american beauty, road to perdition). We had to drive a greater distance to see this one, as it was only released in limited production (which means I generally WANT to see it, but almost NEVER do, because of the lack of importance my local Regal cinema places upon "its kind" of cinema); but nonetheless the trip was worth every second spent.

"Away We Go" was refreshing. I know that that may seem like a simplistic statement, but I mean it in its broadest sense. I find that it is difficult to simply define the film as it is. It is part drama, part comedy, and all enjoyable. The craftsmanship that Mendes utilizes in his other films are seen quite clearly in his composition of human emotions carried across 2 hours by two actors who have quite a bit more potential than I previously realized. I believe that one of Mendes' greatest strengths lies in his ability to compose real emotions surrounding "fictional families"; for example: Kevin Spacey + Annette Benning in 'American Beauty', Tom Hanks + Tyler Hoechlin in 'Road to Perdition', and Leo + Kate in 'Revolutionary Road' all embody real characteristics, and thus real dimensions in how they present themselves to one another. This type of acting is not seen often enough, and I feel it is unfortunate that the film industry does not strive for this more often. Krasinski + Rudolph are amazing together, and the chemistry that flows between them creates a union that you truly regard as real. This is a film about relationships, about family, about life, and about the realities that present themselves to us whether we want them to or not. I grow weary of films that sacrifice the sake of relationships merely to make a "romantic comedy ending", and "Away We Go" happily transcends that mold with real dignity. The film probably isn't for everyone, but for those looking for a film about real people with real problems and emotions, here is that film.
4 Stars Mr. Mendes... 4 stars.

Monday, June 29, 2009

the reality

the realities of social justice are revealed to me in so many ways these days.
concentrating upon the implications of social evil + natural has given me new insights, as well as many more questions.
the bombardment of the waves against the seas of my soul rage forward, yet there is a light, a dawn of sorts; pressing into me like an axe to the grind.
i've been tired these days, maybe a bit off balance.
yet fulfillment can come from many different avenues, not simply the street you are walking down.
the implications of a life of fulfillment. the implications of what I have in contrast to another is upon me. the motivations I have. the skills that have been acquired. the gifts that have been given. relentlessly I look upon them in hopes for a quick or easy answer. but that is not the reality. instead the reality is (in many ways) so much more amazing. as it does not look easy. but in every way Is beyond comprehension. thus beyond the reality of my own thought. and therefore worth fighting for.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Empathy part 1

As I was sitting and eating today, I overheard these two "business" men having a discussion concerning the fate of one of their co-workers. It sounded at first like they were empathizing with her situation, but as the conversation continued on the line: "you can be sympathetic, but that always leads to turning a blind eye," I realized their empathy was pretty "un-empathetic." They continued to diminish this person's character, and even proclaimed that because she was a woman, they had to treat her as "less than what you would treat a male counterpart, because they get too emotionally wrapped up into what you are saying, and show their emotion to everyone, who in turn blame you (the male boss)." Now I have no business barging into conversations without knowing the context (usually), but sometimes I just want to go up to people and ask them why arrogance out shadows empathy in their eyes. From the rest of the conversation it sounded like the lady probably deserved it, I mean she wouldn't show up to work and wasn't able to take responsibility for the work that she was given (due to problems at home); yet their callousness towards her seemed so arrogant, and belittling that it seems that no matter what this woman would have done, it would have made no difference to these guys.

Working is hard. I said it. It is hard to balance a life of work, and a life outside of work. For a person in my situation, it isn't all that difficult. I work about 25 hours a week, and the rest of the time I spend just hanging out around time, or at home. But for someone in different circumstances, it can be particularly daunting.
I fight against this notion that we should just succeed, without an understanding of where we are in contrast to others. When we lose sight of that, we lose sight of our humility towards others. It is no longer me and you, its me and me.

I may just be able to understand others on a surface level many times, but even the smallest interaction can influence how you view your fellow man or woman. There was a girl today at the 7/11 that I passed as I was heading back towards "my" car. I smiled at her, not with any intention other than to smile, and she glared back at me. Her head tilted and the look in her eyes communicated a hardened anger that has probably been swelling up for awhile. As I passed her and went back into my car, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I look like that in times of frustration?" and again "I hope that she finds some release, in a good way, somehow." I didn't think anything of these thoughts until just now, as I realize that part of the reason I wanted to make a "impression" towards her, was possibly rooted in some empathy for that woman in the men's discussion. But maybe beyond that, I think it ultimately roots itself in the topic of self-worth, which I have discussed through great lengths (you can read about it in previous blog entries).
People need compassion, and sometimes all they need is a release from the grime and hardship that occurs everyday. That girl might have thought I was being flirtatious, or trying to view her as an object; but my intentions were very much not in that vein. That in itself is a frustration: that any action of humilty, any action of compassion, or any action of self-sacrifice looks as though it must have a "pricetag of ulterior motives". But why?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

5 Things I miss about Summer 2008

1. Paul, Jacob, Taylor, Dustin, Dan, Bryce, and the CS Supervisors MirMir, Paul D, ED (not as much), Donna
-You guys mean so much to me and I miss you all terribly. Last summer was only as good as it was because you all were there with me.

2. Pool Basketball- I'm terrible, but I play every time, and by the end of the summer I found that I could at least make one or two shots per game. Also ganging up on Ian Vanderwerff was fun...haha.

3. Movies- midnight shows, movies from the queue, etc...

4. Being able to just chill and not have to worry about getting to work, or nonsense like that... Also the fact that "customers" left after a few days was amazing, we have some lingerers (regulars) who come into Jamba all the time and sometimes I wish they just wouldn't come by.

5. Hanging out with everyone and making memories- punching paul in the eye and instantly realizing how hard I hit him, telling a waitress that she had "good waitressing skills" in an attempt to hit on her, getting told that I was F-able by some random girl in the Anderson parking lot, dealing with chinese camps, driving back and forth as Paul Davis's slave, trying to combat Jacob in the pool (big mistake eric big mistake), going to Disturbed with Dan, playing Music scene it and seeing Dan do the "mashed potatoe", watching the U.S. Open for 6 hours, taking a million cinder blocks to Home Depot with Melissa and Taylor, signing up for "project fun" with dustin, hanging out with/ trying to stay awake as long as Dave during safety shifts, witnessing the ridiculousness that was Meg...sheesh that should be number one the things I don't miss list..., sneaking into President McKinneys office while working safety and putting my feet up on his desk, Lost parties, punch dancing with taylor and incorporating dlo's dance into the mix, playing the epic (but rematch still needed) volleyball with DLo against Dan and Taylor, dealing with the police rushing the campus in search for an escaped man who I was trying to find (it was my duty), hanging out with Dan and chatting about life, doing construction on yaks and hanging out at bbqs, ... etc etc etc....
Thinking about it all makes me miss it more...


Whenever I sit down at my computer I always think of what I would want to write about in a blog, yet (as my friend Dan reverberates my friend Matt, in his latest entry of "Proper Self-Disclosure") it is not always best to simply just ramble on, because so much happens during the day and we can only write down a small percentage of what actually goes on. This means that many times emotions are lost, details skewed or left out, and ultimately we are left with a slightly muddled vision of what we want to express.

Now I think that regardless of this we should persist for writing is for the soul and not always for declaration. The words that I hope to write do not always emit from my fingers, or mouth; but at times they find their way to exist. It's as if we send them of, as parents send off their children on first days of school. We want them to succeed,motivate, and maybe even rub off on "others" in the best possible ways; yet this is not always the reality of life. At times I have written about deeply concerning issues, events, and transgressions that have occurred in my life and it at times has been tempting to point my words at a sharper angle; but I resist out of empathy for the feelings of others, and for the ways that I will be perceived.
Going back to the illustration concerning children, if we influence them to do that which we ourselves wouldn't want to become hindrances (such as retaliation or rejection), then we cannot expect that they will piffle off like a match going out in a heady wind. Words can sometimes have greater consequences than any action that we ever do, and in that power so many times abuse is found.

We want to protect our "children" for they are ours, and yet we also have to let them stand for themselves: in times of trouble, and in success. If we never allowed that, then we would never allow true freedom to reside over their reception.
And with that we selfishly hoard what could come of it. This requires a "letting go" of that which may at times come across as a "heat of the moment" type of argument, because at times the "thoughts of the moment" (as Francis Bacon relays) "are commonly the most valuable." This is not to say that everyone should wait until they are emotionally distraught, in hopes of writing great reflections, it in fact implies that at times of such passion, sometimes we evoke the wills that otherwise would have continued their pleasant subconscious slumber.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Midaisle Critic: Summer Movie Reviews- The Taking of Pelham 123

As I watching the latest from director Tony Scott, I couldn't help but feel that the film had a glazy watered down feel to it, that was simply compensated for by having a lot of f-bombs and other such language. The performances are tired, and virtually unimpressive, and to be honest the original shines over this film regardless of the time that has passed between the two (the original was made in 1974).
This film left me feeling uninspired, for it gave me a familiar story without any reason to connect with it. The main issue I have with remakes, and ultimately modern actions films like this one, is that the films seem so cookie-cutter esque, that any sense of memorability is virtually lost. Not that every film will evoke feelings of resounding joy, but with guys like Travolta, Scott, and Washington: we would think that they would try a little harder.
I couldn't help but put in my own scene, as the subway car was screeching down the tracks. I was hoping Spiderman would show up and stop the train with a slingshot web in a truly sacrificial moment, but alas... I got no such excitement.
The film wasn't bad, it just wasn't particularly good either. I like what fellow film Thespian/director Mike Gallegos said when he stated "it was a decent enough of a film, and I guess you just gotta let Denzel and Travolta do their thing." I guess that is true enough, but imagine if these two had emulated the performances of Robert Shaw and Walter Matthau! In this age, we need characters in films who we not only connect with, but also can see as memorable. When we walk away from the theater, we want to continue discussing the film into the night, as we drink our coffees at local diners, and walk the streets discussing twist endings, and favorite scenes. It is truly the dialogue, and ultimately the performances of the actors that provide the atmosphere, and true "meat and potatoes" of a film, yet that seems so lost today (in many films, but NOT all). We need to start pushing films that don't treat their audience as if they will watch anything with a shiny poster and a tricked up trailer. It is simply not enough anymore. There needs to genuine authenticity. And I know that I stand with few on this issue, but I want to make my voice heard.
Action films, or thrillers, or whatever you want to call these films, need to be given the detail, respect, and authenticity that well composed dramas receive. Their is a reason why we remember Bogart as a private gumshoe, or John McClane as a lone cop, or even Al Pacino as Serpico. I could care less about Washington's performance, or even Travolta's for that matter, and that says something about the film I watched. I was entertained, but not without the "outcause" of feeling a little let down, considering how good the original was.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

no title

I had a whole list of things that I was going to write about, but I forgot where I put it, so I will try the best that I can to recollect my thoughts (to put into the blog jar).

-I have a nemesis-

So this lady has made it her goal to make my life (at Jamba) miserable. She is a regular customer who enjoys kicking back with vodka, and apparently spending a lot of her husbands money (as she comes in daily spending ludicrous amounts of money on the same freaking three drinks + gift card upgrades, which btw she NEVER uses!).

Alright... enough venting... now to explain:

I messed up her order the first time I took it (my second week of work), and she got pissed. She claims that I had an attitude in response to her, and thus got even more agitated at me. I went into the back, as I was just about to go on break, and the lady told all the girls up front about me, and how rude I was.

Anyways, the girls consoled me and explained this lady's deal, and how she comes in sometimes drunk, and other times under the influence of other things...

regardless... she's kind of intense.

So the second time I take her order, I make sure I got it down. She of course made it a point to not look me in the eye, and very negatively order her usual drinks.
I poured her matcha (which is just green tea powder + soy or oj) into the wrong cup, as I couldn't find the ones that we are supposed to use. I figured my choice was a worthy substitute, she didn't agree. She decides to critique me in front of the whole store and tells me how to do my job.

I stay cool.

A week and a half passes by, and she apparently filed a formal complaint against me, in which she remarks that I "refused" to give her her order correctly, and that I was incredibly rude to her.

I can't even believe it. I am so overly nice to this women that it makes me puke, yet she decides its better if I get reprehended every time she feels unsatisfied.


-Matt's wedding + engagements + other-

My friend Matt got married recently, and I want to wish him and his wife the best of luck. I really wish that I could have been there to see it, but I understand the reasons why. Its crazy how many weddings I have been to in the last few years, but I have to say... that I love every single one individually. I guess its just the symbolism of the whole thing, and getting together with friends and family in celebration. It is a bit sad, but also joyous at the same time.
Matt, if you are reading this, I am happy for you, and lets connect at some point soon.


Plus, my friend Trevor got engaged; crazy. I was his suitemate his senior year, and I think me and my roommate Will drove him crazy, but I guess he gets the upper hand afterall, as neither I nor Will are married. Touche Trevor...

-I have recently been a bit stumped as to what I am going to be teaching on in July (for two weeks, for my college group), and am working through figuring out the best pathway for the teachings.

-My brother graduates with his associates from ITT on Saturday, and I have to say that I am pretty proud. I think he is going to go on to do some awesome things with what he has learned, and I really look forward to seeing that come to fruition. Its crazy that we essentially graduated the same year. More and more I see the importance of building my relationship with him, and my sister, as those relationships are hopefully going to be my support for the rest of my life.

-My thoughts are muddled as of late, and I can't wait till July 2nd...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Disconcerting Speech

The questions that people come up with, based on their own interpretations of you and your lifestyle, amaze me. Today I was asked by my manager about whether I am bi-sexual or not: I couldn't even believe it. Her reasoning behind asking was that because I am single and haven't talked about any dates or anything. I don't understand why someone would feel inclined to assume something like that about someone you don't even know. Her response to my answer, which is 'no I am not', was- "it's okay if you are, I won't judge", the thing that bothers me is that I don't think she understands/cares about my response, and furthermore I feel like she took it with such a grain of salt because I am not fitting into a specific mold/type. I am not upset about it anymore, more just kind taken aback by the ridiculousness of the event.

Singlness is tough. I once wrote a hole blog about singleness' effects upon me and thoughts concerning the lifestyle of being a single, Christian man. Sometimes I wonder about the decisions that I have made, and I wonder about how those choices will teach me and help me in future situations. I have learned a lot from my relationships, and I still feel that I am at the place, ready for whatever God has for me. I guess it takes faith, as well as rememberi g to not allow yourself from experiencing all that life has for you inthe here and now.

Hopefully on the future I won't need to clarify my sexuality to random people.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Chroni WHAT cles of Summer (6)- Frustrating Experiences

One huge pet peeve that I have is people yelling out their car windows at unsuspecting walkers. It is a pet peeve because I have been in that spot many times. The other week, for instance, I was hit with a full can of pop. It hit me in the hand, followed by laughter as the car continuing along the road. What is the deal? Like WHO does that?!?

Today as I was walking home I got cigarettes thrown at me, and had some dude yell out his window to scare me. They did it twice (if you can believe that). Its a long road, and apparently they went to where they were going and then turned around and decided that they should do it again.

What the heck? Isn't it enough that I go to work and then walk home exhausted? Do I need the hassling? no... I don't...

I don't understand it and it makes me frustrated.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Intensity. Reflection. Vision

So I am currently doing a bunch of studying at my favorite local coffee place and I have stumbled upon a quote that basically made me stop reading (due to the intensity of it's nature). I am reading about the providencial nature of God as it relates to theological standpoints surrounding the existence of evil and there is a whole section discussing atrocities in the 20th century (as it relates to earlytheological views of evil).
The following is a quote from Elie Wiesal, Holocaust survivor who wrote the fantastic/powerfully moving book 'Night'. The quote comes from a man reflecting upon seeing a young boy hanged:

"Where is God now?" and a voice within him replied, "Where is He? Here He is- He is hanging here on the Gallows."

Intense. I had to basically put the book down for 5 minutes, as I lapsed into deep thought/ emotional chaos considering the intensity of this statement. The yearning for those in suffering pulls at my heart as I attempt to understand just what these people experienced. For someone to experience what they experienced and walk away with that burden completely amazes me. To hear a quote such as this, brings forth many more questions, as well as a desire to better understand theological reflections on suffering, as well as the redeeming love of Christ.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Midaisle Critic: Summer Movie Review: Drag Me To Hell

The latest from Sam Raimi is exactly the opposite of what horror cinema has become in recent years. Sam Raimi must have a gift for taking basic horror stories, adding in some campiness (just for fun), and jolting his audience around for the duration of a film.
This shows Raimi at top form, like he was in Spiderman 2, or Evil Dead 2 (funny how that works), and it seems that this film will stand as a true return to cinema horror. I have never been a big fan of the horror subgenre, save for Raimi's 'Evil Dead Trilogy', Poltergeist, and the Shining.

Drag Me to Hell is an interesting beast. With that said, I must say that I was surprised at how intense, purposely self-depricating (c'mon the campiness truly adds to the mythos of horror, and when you have a film like this, you want to laugh, cry, and jolt), and well rounded the overall film turned out to be. All of the previous reviews that I had read before viewing this film (mostly from SSXW and Cannes) were all but positive, and that largely has to do with Raimi's "return" to the form he best displays in direction (sweeping action, jolty scenes, camp, horror, and characters that you want to protect a.k.a. sympathetic characters).

Alison Lohman does a great job as the titular (and cursed) Christine, and even Justin Long manages to break out of his previous typecasting (the mac guy, John McClane's annoying sidekick in Die Hard 4). I was overally impressed by the casting that Raimi went with, although I wonder how the film would have played out with Ellen Page as the lead, as she was originally casted. All in all, the film jolts you around for 2 hours, on a sweeping, stomping thrill ride of classic horror. As noted by my brother, "even though I knew when suspenseful moments were going to occur, I still reacted with a jump everytime something happened."

I would recommend Drag Me to Hell to those who enjoy getting scared, but expect to be treated with some intelligence, and credit (which I feel most horror movies lack these days). Sam Raimi knows his audience, and it shows. Nice Job Mr. Raimi, now don't mess up Spiderman 4, I read your interview and I hope you mean what you said.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

MidAisle Critc: Summer Movie Reviews: Terminator Salvation

For the first time this summer I have truly hit a slump in my reviews, and I apologize to anyone who reads them for the lateness of this particular entry.

Terminator Salvation is an interesting piece of cinema, as it carries with it a long history of fanboy idealism, 3 previous films, and (up until this film) the guise of a popular action star (Arnold Swarzenagger). This is the first Terminator film to prominently feature the future as the primary backdrop, rather than the impending result of what is to come.

The film is primarily action oriented, and as such misses out on some of the most important aspects that made the first three films so engaging. I know it can be a bit unfair to compare this to the masterful T:2-Judgment Day, but it is simply hard not to. We have seen John Connor grow up before our eyes, and in the guise of Christian Bale, it seems that we have finally hit the point where John Connor begins to fade from human spirit to disillusioned/grizzled freedom fighter. Yet, we (the audience) does not seem to connect with Connor. There is something about the portrayal that seems carbon copied, or even robotic (hehe). I know that there has to be more that that (potential wise) in all this.
The film strikes questions (as the previous films had) about the human spirit, human identity, and ultimately human struggle. This film does touch on those questions, yet they touch on them in ways that only seem to want to mention the philosophical ramifications, rather than actually discover meaning behind it. The film falls in the arenas of true human emotion, and focuses itself on creating a catastrophic apocalypse. Some may find this more action-oriented Terminator to be what they have always wanted to see, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed.
I enjoyed the film, and did like how they used elements from previous films to give it a futuristic look, and so my review takes a split at this point. Even though I felt as though character, dialogue (to some degree), and directorial choices were a bit of a letdown, I felt as though the film composed a war-like quality that gave its viewers a truly futuristic battlefront.
If the series continues, which I believe that it will, I would only recommend to the filmmakers to try and work on their characters more, giving us a reason to connect with them, and ultimately find a way to capture the emotional effects that made the first three films so contrasting.
Will Salvation be memorable? I don't think it will make quite enough of an impact, and in that I find that sometimes, somethings are best left to better directors, with better visions.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Chroni WHAT Cles of Summer (5)- The Birds

As I was walking down the long road to the espresso cafe, I was aggressively swooped upon by three black birds. I don't know if they had their nests in the nearby trees or what, but I felt the wind coming off of their feathers, and my mind instantly shot to Alfred Hitchcocks titular film.
I rushed to the cafe, but the birds followed in pursuit. I got so freaked out that one of them would peck at me that I started jogging and jumped behind a car in the parking lot...

Seesh... what an experience.

This isn't the first time that this has happened, mind you, but the second! The other time happened three summers ago, on the same road... Its a deathtrap!
Luckily the cafe remained a safe haven from my feathered agressors, and I managed to enjoy eating my southwest chicken salad, while reading Migliore and watching the French Open.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Chroni WHAT cles of Summer (4)- Keeping it Cool

First Point: I don't get mad very easily
Second Point: I don't like getting to the point where I would be becoming agitated
Third Point: I live a very stressful life, which can lead to multiple trains of unfortunate events.
a.k.a. Some days I can't catch a break.

The topic at hand is money. Money stresses me out. Not having enough to be able to accomplish what I need to do, not having enough to acquire the assets to accomplish what I need to do, having to rely upon its constant fluctuation in order to "survive", and also having to deal with the reality of finances in general: stress me out like no other.
And I hate it.
I think it comes out of a desire to set myself apart from a worldview of materialism, as well as a desire to not hold onto the worldview that money is always the background of all activity. I fight against it, I fight against this idea that we have to constantly be measured by dollars and cents. Unfortunately, I can scream, shout, and act like Jim Carrey (which I do when I get really really stressed out... after the stage of getting really tired, frustrated, and emotionally distraught); but in the end I have to find a way to stand against it, while still being able to function within it.
Its a dilemma. I need a car, cars cost money, I have no money... thus I need to work, save, and spend in order to continue forward... but at what cost?
In all reality, we all get stressed out, we all find those things that rise up around us/within us that cause us to get angered, and sometimes it is discouraging to consistently face, but there is ultimately hope.
I wonder if Adam was really stressed out, or merely afraid.
Maybe Cain was the first to be stressed out; I mean he killed his brother in cold blood, and then was not only forced to walk the earth, but marked for all eternity. I would be stressed.
Can you imagine Noahs' stress?
or Moses's ?
Just thinking about it, it makes my head hurt. Maybe that's why I connect with characters like Hosea, Moses, Peter, Jonah, John the Baptist... they all faced great opposition, and were constantly being shifted, tested, and pushed. And through that I feel a solid connection.
One day I will write more on that, but not today.

In a modern context, I think there is only one person who never seems to lose their cool...
you can find a video of him here
Haha. Enjoy.
To be honest, this day has been one of the most frustrating days that I have had in a long time. I had to deal with loan officers, bank issues, traffic, car shutdown issues, issues with my accounts being started in california (which doesn't switch over to Chase until October... which means that while in Washington... unless I want to send every check down to California... I had to open a checking out in washington, ontop of the ones that I already have... which means I have to change a bunch of other things... ugh), issues with getting hours at work (which were later resolved), and so on and so forth, yet...

I did go to the golf course today though, and I must say that being on the putting green at 6:30am, in the misty rain, was probably the most relaxing thing that I have done in so long, and I hope to do again soon. That made things a little easier.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


I saw a beautiful girl today.
She had sandy brown hair, a nose ring, a great smile, and organic/folklike attire (including what Bono would call "sexy boots")
She was beautiful.... truly...
I was at Jamba and I took her order, and poured her drink.
We discussed how she was going to a folk music festival, and how ecstatic she was about sitting in the sun, listening to "sweet melodies."
She smiled and took the drink, I smiled a shy boyish smirk... without a word to say...
She probably met up with her friends and discussed new and progressive ideas concerning theology, philosophy, and politics... all while eating ethnic food, and discussing art, film, and music...
oh come on.... she might have...

As I have been working at Jamba Juice, I have begun to notice how influencial random interactions with people can actually have. I was reading through some of the book of Hebrews tonight, and I came upon the verse, "Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitatlity to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (13:1-2) I found myself struck by this verse, as it helped me to reinterpret my outlook concerning interpersonal communication. I understand now that as we humbly encounter, and hospitably treat other human beings, we thus allow ourselves to become servants to those around us. Some will respond (physically, or verbally, or whatever) and through their confirmation, we can find encouragement. But what of those who do not give us that affirmation? We may never know the type of impact we will make conscientiously or subconsciously for those individuals, and thus our actions/words/attitudes take on a new level of importance. How often do we hear this? How often do we think of angels rejoicing in the wake of service? How often do we take for granted those who we do not even know?

At Completorium (my college group) tonight, we were discussing suffering. I proposed the idea that suffering can be encountered, as well as enacted in response to a statement made concerning mans ability to even become desensitized to suffering. This was an interesting thought, as I have never thought about the limitations of suffering, only about the situations that arise in recent memory. I have become passionate about the suffering of others, but in order to have gotten to this point I have had to know what suffering entailed (only to the degree which I can encounter, enact, or understand... as only Christ truly understands the breadth of suffering), and thus it is through an experential, as well as theoritical, understanding of those around us (as well as ourselves) that suffering becomes a reality in this journey of faith. All in all, I find that if I live a life of faith, truly trying to live out Christ's message, and truly trying to get closer to him, then I will experience suffering...

"Truly, Truly I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy" (John 16:20)


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Til Kingdom Come 2: "Not the Same"

"You took a trip and climbed a tree
At Robert Sledge's party
And there you stayed 'till morning came
And you were not the same after that

You gave your life to Jesus Christ
And after all your friends went home
You came down, you looked around
And you were not the same after that

(Ahhh ahhh)
You were not the same after that
(Ahhh ahhh)
You were not the same after that

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on you're hanging on...
To it

You took the word and made it heard
And eased the people's pain and for that
You were idolised, immortalised
And you were not the same after that

Walking tall, you'd bought it all
And you were not the same after that
Till someone died on the waterslide
And you were not the same after that

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on you're hanging on to it

(ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(ooh ooh ooh ooh)

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on
you're hanging on

You're hanging on
You're hanging on"- Ben Folds

Friday, May 15, 2009

Midaisle Critic: Summer Movie Review: Angels and Demons

"Faith is a gift I have not yet been given"- Robert Langdon
"I asked if you believe in God, not if you believe in man's interpretation of God"-Patrick McKenna

"Angels and Demons", the latest Robert Langdon thriller directed by Ron Howard, attempts to set itself apart from its predecessor, "The DaVinci Code", by focusing its attentions more traditional thriller "guideposts", and does so without feeling overused or undettered.
The film itself deals with a legitimate threat to the Vatican, after the death of the Pope, as four key Cardinals are kidnapped, a bomb is announced, and Prof. Robert Langdon is brought in to uncover the connection.
The film resembles "The DaVinci Code" in style, yet transcends it narratively. The film does not daly within the "pillars" of Christian theology, but rather removes itself from a central issue (such as Christ, as seen in "The DaVinci Code"), and focuses on the expansive questions of faith and man. Ewan MacGregor gives a wonderful performance as Patrick, the Carmelengo of the Vatican, and portrays himself as a man of pure, anti-discouragement seeking faith.
"Angels and Demons" provides another backdrop for Langdon's symbology-driven investigations, and does so while personifying multiple understandings of faith. Surprisingly, "Angels and Demons" actually does something unexpected, in that, it allows for multiple interpretations concerning the actions of faith, as well as displaying many of the downfalls surrounding these ideals.
The film used its locations to the very best of its advantage; although it seems that the careful placement of symbols, seen in the "DaVinci Code", was farther and fewer between. Ron Howard is an interesting director, in that, he utilizes the entire screen to draw your attention to one central fact. However, this also means that the film (at times) may not seem expansive enough, but overall it is the belief of this critic, that the utilization of various pieces of art, created a culture for the film to thrive against. However the film is not perfect, and many of the flaws seem to revolve around certain key scenes in the film. Howard seems to have lost the filter for his camera, as many of his shots seem rather grainy, and bland looking.
It is good to see Tom Hanks in the movies again. Having grown up seeing him in such films as: "Forest Gump", and "Castaway", it is sad to see his name on so few billings these days. Hanks brings to Robert Langdon, a calm deameanor, which at times showcases Hanks' ability to blend into the films he stars in. However, it seems that several times in the film, Hanks seems to be "freewheeling" his role as Langdon, and we don't see the kind of energy that Hanks has usually brought to his formidable characters. It did seem a bit odd how rushed some elements of the film came about, but that might have just been to give the allusion of time as a forboding enemy. All in all, I feel that the positives outweigh the negatives, and thus the film stands at a much better place than "The DaVinci Code."
In personal taste, the scenes between Ewan MacGregor's character 'Patrick', and Landon; as well as the the scene between the head Cardinal, and Langdon, are essential to the films discussions on faith. I will not spoil their speeches any more than I have, but rather I will reiterate the notion that this film is not "The DaVinci Code", and therefore should be judged on its own accord.
Overall, the film was an enjoyable thriller, set in the backdrop of the beautiful Vatican City, and the films multi-perspective view on faith, and its role in the world, is quite interesting in the times that we live within. The action/thriller aspect was beefed up much from the first film, and I think that as a summer blockbuster, "Angels and Demons" will do well in the general market. But we shall see if the stain of "The DaVinci Code" outweighs it.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Midnight Showings are my life!!!

Me and My brother are going to go see "Angels and Demons" at midnight...

and we are dressing up as Tom Hanks...

oh yes...

I wish we had mullet wigs :(

but we do have nice coats!!! :D

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

'til Kingdom Come (part i)

I heard this song for the first time in awhile... It stirred something up in me... Not sure what... but I felt it...

"Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in, unlock the door
I've never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you, I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn't change a single thing

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know what I'll become

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

"- Chris Martin

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Middleaisle Critic: Summer Movie Review 2009: Star Trek

I know this is a bit late, but I haven't had time to sit down and write an actual review for this film.
So here it is, almost a week later, but rest assured I saw it twice (so it is still fresh in my brain).

Star Trek (2009) Directed by J.J. Abrams, Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Eric Bana.
Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

I was purely amazed by the presentation that J.J. Abrams took to this Re imagined "Trek-Verse". The film acts a sort of 'bridge' between hardcore trekkies, and average folk (such as myself). I really enjoyed the simplicity taken in bringing about a "re imagining", as so many times it seems that films either dumb down the source material, or overexpose the limits of the material. This film allowed for all viewers to understand the basis behind Star Trek, as well as understanding its distinctiveness. Now, it could have gone more philosophical (as the tv show did), or more political (as the new Star Wars trilogy did), but instead this film focused on the exciting elements of the Star Trek mythology. This was not a perfect film (by any means), and in fact there were moments of the film that seemed a bit too "Mtvish" (in just how characters interacted, and in how resolutions were conducted), but overall J.J. Abrams has done what few thought he could do, that is to resurrect Star Trek to new levels of excitement, for a new audience, in a new age.
If he can continue this trend, I foresee sequels coming out in the next couple years.
It was great to see Abrams utilize lesser known actors as well. Eric Bana did a great job as the Romulan Nero, and I wonder why more directors don't use him. Karl Urban does a fantastic McCoy rendition, which added some real legitimacy to the "adaption of the original cast". Simon Pegg as Scotty was well done, except he wasn't given enough screen time. Zoe Salada (o'Hurra) did a good job, except I felt as though she was presented strongly independent at the begining, and by the end, it seems, she becomes a mere romantic interest. Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine had good chemistry together, and their interactions were meant to be the crux of most of the conflict. It seems that by the end of the film, Pine is finally allowed to settle into his "kirk persona", and we see that this new rendition of Star Trek will be a continual process.
Overall, I really enjoyed this film, and in my mind, Abrams has scored another hit.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Chroni WHAT Cles of Summer (3)- Sickness Sucks Saturdays Secretly Sound Sleeping...

So I have gotten hit with a ridiculous cold the last few days, it really sucks as I thought I had my sickness for the year (back in January). I went to the doctor today, and from what she says I just have a bad cold virus that will pass in the next 3-4 days (charlie brown music)...

All the while, I wasn't expecting that my first weekend back in Washington would consist of quarantining myself in my room, eating frozen yogurt, hacking up a storm, not being able to sleep without waking up without air circulating, watching 6 movies (including "The Running Man"), and finding new concoctions to help soothe the agonizing/suffocating throat coughs...

Yeesh... I hope I'm not coming off like a big baby or something, I just wanted you to know what was going on... ha

Yesterday my Dad was watching a History Channel (love that channel so freaking much) special on the Black Death. Awesome Dad... thanks for the encouragement. He made a joke that we should light a bunch of fire columns around me to purify the air (just like the Pope used back during this time to keep himself from infection)... Albeit to say... My mom objected to lighting anything on fire at this point in time, especially in her family room.

I have still yet to find a job, but as of the last few days, it seems that maybe it is good that I haven't been jumped with any offers. Its more frustrating because I know how difficult it can be to get a job after being around for sometime...


Well... I am off to watch the good Star Wars movies...
I figure I've got the time...

Pray is greatly appreciated, if you feel like calling me... I would love that...ha... but you don't have to...