Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Life is (vol. 1)- Restlessness

I've discovered my taste in music changes rapidly over short periods of time. There are certain elements to what I like, but my musical taste is not limited to a single variety of rock, nor is it limited to a certain time (era) or place (Brit rock, stuff from America, etc..). Lately I have been enjoying much more standalone examples of alternative music (like Blur, Wintersleep, Alice in Chains, Oasis, and Rage). I guess it's a sense of restlessness within me that turns to music that hits hard yet dissapates in a way that makes you feel as though you are part of the experience (whether that means the lyrics themselves are resonating or not is up to interpretation).
This restlessness I think has in part to do with the summer ending... I can't wait for it to be over. I think I just reached a point a few days ago (Tuesday I believe) when I hung up the towel and said "Just let me go on vacation now, I don't care anymore". At that moment I had finally expressed what had been going through my head for the entire month of August.
Times change, people change, these are things that we know deep down but when addressed with them, I think most people hate to confront it. I am no different, I see something like this coming and I all of a sudden don't know what to do about it. My roomate (and one of my best friends) isn't coming back to Simpson. I know why, and I empathize and understand that it is probably the best thing for him to do.. but that doesn't make it something that I wanted to happen. Consequently I have hit a snag within another relationship (which shall not be named) which I had taken a blind eye to until most recently. I knew the snag was there, but there has been literally no way of fixing it (at this current moment, considering the factors causing it), luckily I have had some conversation over it and it seems to have at least been understood by the other, and hopefully that will help us at a future time (who knows?).
Maybe that's what happens when you get attached to something for so long, only to find it won't happen exactly as you had planned and have to reroute in order to figure out some other way of making things work out.
I am leaving for Washington on Saturday (the 23rd) and couldn't be happier to get out of here for awhile (no offense I just need a break alright...). I think it was I have needed for the entire month and the more I talk about it, the more restless I get.
Life... more specifically 'waiting', is that restlessness that dangles in front of you when you need an escape...